With one breathe, i let go of all the things that have been troubling over.
Only one person in the world can make me smile and laugh like this...
and feel so strong and so very very weak!

I've found him again... and that's what matters...over the past few days...i've felt desperate. and i still am... for different things... and for those of you that do see me online... my msn nick says One Thing... and the full sentence goes like this:

One thing i ask of the Lord,
this is what i seek:
That i may dwell in the house of the Lord,
All the days of my life,
To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.
- Psalms 27:4

i mean, here, in my blog, i get to say things that i don't and wouldn't get the chance to say to other people. A chance for me to expose something of myself, that other people so seldom do. Cos... i don't want to offer anyone anything but myself. no secrets. Some Christians think too much about maintaining an image for others. and as much as i see the reason behind it, this is my way.

Dreams and morals are so hard to share... cos you know that there's always some one that's gonna come along and spot something that you didn't, and send you crumbling...laugh at you...are you serious?YOU a doctor??! but you're so blur! take that off, amelea, it doesn't flatter you. you're so stupid! - flippant little quips. that strike to the heart. And i have to admit, that i don't know what i'm walking into. I have NO idea how i'm gonna make it through my course...sometimes, i get a glimpse of my life without my Jesus. bordering on insanity.so i see that. I'm not blind, i'm not ignorant, not in denial... but i'm saying these things, saying them into the dark, saying them so they can be seen because of him. I KNOW he's there. and for all the times, i was hurled questions i couldn't answer, faced with accusations and hypocrisy. He's there. and I love him. and i will fall in this life, i will disappoint people, and hurt them...nomatter how hard i try... and He'll still be there. He's there, holding me when i'm crying in the dark, whispering me sweet everythings when i'm sagging in his arms, looking into my eyes when i'm crying beneath my blankets. He's there. even when i can't feel him. cos maybe, there's more to this world that we can feel with our hands, eyes, ears, mind and heart. beyond these things, and yet closer than my soul, that's my God.