Gosh... I haven't written in ages...because i was so intent in letting the moments slipping by, as fast and as obscure as it could...silly me! I should stop using all thos "..." they're techinically incorrect... but i can't help it!
I was wondering a few days ago...feeling desolate for some reason, wishing i could disperse...simply stop BEING as humans know it...not being a solid entity...but being able to spread out everywhere, and get to see everything, see how this mother loves her child, how that husband kisses his wife...and how the sisters in the park dream-talk at night, when the lights are out and they feel safe. and not be able to feel stares, to feel the pain of a twisted ankle, the dead-end of some long past hurt, that I don't want to examine, but too selfish to let go of....But then...ahh the ideas so ridiculous now...
I'd reckon God was something like that...dispersed...in a deeper way... haha..how can air be deep? How deep and how wide is his love? I'd like to say the God is everything...but i don't know enough of anything to say such a thing... i'm reading a book called Foucault's Pendulum... just into the first 4 pages...and it describes this pendulum... and that this pendulum was the only point in the whole universe that didn't mover..."the only stable place in the cosmos, the only refuge from the damnation of panta rei(KIV that)..." I don't flatter myself by claiming what that all means...but if you saw a pendulum swinging...it'd be connected to this one POINT. and the whole thing about a point is that... its infinite... you could probably trace it to a quark and STILL NOT FIND IT. it doesn't have any dimensions... so it free in a sense of earth's laws. and and... it doesn't move. because, technically, it isnt ANYTHING. its got no mass to be pulled at by gravity etc. and...the earth moves, right? and so does the pendulum... so there's this infinite number of points. everywhere. points that go on infinite.
and that kind of reminded me of God. only God can be THAT encompassing! imagine. a fullstop is what we use to mark the end of our sentences...and yet, a fullstop in all its potential, could go on for all eternity! and that while we have the 'endless' skies around us... all we have to do it focus on one small spot, and in there we find eternity... like how our God is the Alpha and Omega. the beginning and the end. Its all in that point. and yet, if i believed in that alone, that that point was the most STABLE point in the universe, like the protagonist in the book does...it still doesn't MEAN anything. How does that sound? I worship a point. something that doesn't move, that isn't affected, that's the only stable thing in the world. How does that help me? how does that help anyone? There has to be a God to this equation, only can HE make that point mean something!! but what? hrm. If that point can be ANYWHERE, which it can. the pendulum only helps us to visualise the focus of it. and if a point goes on for eternity...and that it has no mass and that it doesn't stop... then what are we really? There has to be something Spiritual about our life on earth.

okay. Darren has just come in a squished what i said. He said that mathematically, all a point denotes is a position. geez. But even then, if you look at it UNTHEORITICALLY-THEORETICALLY, all that i've said....kind of makes sense?