I think...the eternity of time is something frightening to look at.
There's a disembodiedness about it... how you can be in the NOW, and look back at the past and speculate on the future at the same time. I mean...there are whole arguements that whole concept but that's not what i'm confusing myself about. I'm not confused. I'm sure of the promise of eternity that's there for me. And then, when you think about it, it is gonna be a WASTE of time...because time is gonna be passing, no matter how you try and think of it, think in it or out of it. But i thought, if time is always passing...and passing in a constant rate...mechanically that is...and yet.... a happy, well-filled moment makes it seem to pass so fast, while an ill-use one makes it seem...like that there's too much of it left...its so ironic. The irony of Time. and so you have to choose, which one you 'd want to have. It never ever is a complete choice...moments of boredom and moments of happiness just stumble upon you.
But...as a note to myself: pick happiness, when you remember that there is a choice.

But when i look at that number, those simple black lines on a page: 2050...i just thought. 45 years from now...i'll be old. I'll be sixty one... who will i be with, what will i be like? and give or take a few decades after that...what will i leave behind? i CAN'T imagine myself as 61...right now...i feel immortal. I think, everybody who appreciates what its like to be young would have felt this before. To actually feel and think you are...immortal. Physically, that is. To look at the traffic and scream defiance, to dance amongst the sprinklers at night and not feel cold, because of the warmth that seems to come from your soul. To run along side your friends, feeling, for a brief moment, like light, streaking through people from another world.
Maybe its just me..
But today, in looking too far forward,
I tripped over what was just under my feet,
and realised,
i would have missed this kaleidoscope of memories,
this diamond,
If i hadn't stubbed my toe :)