i haven't written abit...but i'll start now :)i was thinking about friends...well...they're hard to get and they're HARD to loose. and i was also thinking about the hols, when we met up with dorea, mitra, deb, sherm, jing, alicia, lor, daph... being surrounded by all the good natured gossip, the familiar chatter and not being left out...it felt like coming home. i think the days i've spent in mgs will be the most...'picturesque' days of my life. and a very very golden period that passed. i miss it very much... the comraderie, the adventures, the mischief...the school girls huddled in a corner, making big small talk and the school boys, in the other, trying to act like the world will pass them by... and both of them darting little glances at the other,in that world, where only the uniformed, exist.

Then i thought, i have a new life now, one that isn't to do with JC, and everything to do with the present and future... and...over the past few days, God has opened my eyes...i mean... i wouldn't have done it without him. wouldn't. but over the past few weeks, my head and heart have been horribly tortured about this whole friendship thing. i saw something happening, and i wished with all my heart to DO something about it...but it felt like balancing something on a pin. i was aftaid to poke it, for fear that the whole thing would come crashing down. and i still am. but i'm working on building up my courage:). how could i be so stupid!! you know those things that carriage horses wear over their eyes so that they can only look forward? that's what i was like!! all i could see was the opposite party and not myself... and i kept shrinking back. hello
?? and shrinking back will achieve what? NOTHING. nothing but alienating yourself further. so there. i'm working hard on a friendship. a friendship with good people, that i do not wanna loose. because... good friends are PRECIOUS. i lost that spirit...i don't know when. i guess i felt kind of safety netted, that if i didn't have any friends now, its okay cos there are always friends i've made before, that i can rely on. and that's just dumb. cos you're depriving yourself of all the future has to offer. that's my resolution..."Onward, onward, men of heaven!" , to put my heart and soul into what i do, into my work, family and friends, and most importantly God...cos he opens my eyes, that i may look at all three, and see.

yep.
i thank you God for all you've given me, the abundance in life, every aspect, and i see, i truly see how much i've been blessed... the things that have become ordinary to me, are sometimes not even present in other's lives... the wisdom i've learnt from being with you...FAther YOU ARE THE ALMIGHTY.
and i love you with all my heart.