this is my theme verse for this chapter in my life.

However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Acts 20:24.

i think i'm in my maturing christian phase...you know? when a child stops thinking and acting as a child but as a man? and i think God has truly truly worked wonders in my life... i mean... alot of the old problems are there... but..some things has changed..this year, being ministered to by Pastor Benny, Steph, Christine, Cherie and witnessing the grace of God in the lives of my Christian and non Christian friends, and most of all, by the Spirit...I feel something's been deposited in my soul. Today, the pastor spoke about reviving our childhood dreams and truly, loosing all inhibition, and all restraint in the power of our God. to truly, let GO of doubts...of human limitations that we set on God and claim, Yes Lord. I believe you have sent me to walk such a path. so regardless of what is before me, lord, by faith i walk. and yes, i look back on my life... and to me, medicine is so far from the path i would have chosen. SO FAR. and sometimes... i feel broken by that...that fear that because i didn't start out that way, i wouldn't have the strength. and then, God comes in, and instead of brokenness and inadequacy, shame and fear. I feel humility. i think we underestimate humiltiy sometimes... as Christian youth. we get so involved in the workings, the warrings and we forget the importance of ...realising how small we are...how really like unto nothing we are... and from that humilty, recieve the grace that God has poised over us, in the form of Jesus Christ. its the same...facts. that fact that i didn't start out with my life aimed at medicine...but the Holy Spirit changes the attitudes around. such that instead of focusing on myself, i focus on Him, instead of crushing what's left of myself...i'm filling the spaces with God... how gracious is that? Sometimes, i let my pride get away with me and i think... oh,having been encouraged from my 'closeness' with the Holy spirit, i'll need less time for QT. how wrong!. i mean...Lord, only you know how hard the past year has been for me. and only YOU could have blessed me in the way you have...to clear the planks from my eyes, and let the light into my heart. to heal me froom the inside out...and to make me... mature and a little, teensy step closer to being Christ like. and i thank you Abba, with all my heart.